haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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