Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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