So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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