Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
