So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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