is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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