do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
