You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
