i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Still dying that you shit outside
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
