No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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