so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
When did angry sex become our thing?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
