What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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