Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
