you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
