I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
