I'm really into asian looking animals
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
