i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
