i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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