There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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