I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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