Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
