So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
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I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
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Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Holy shit dude........stairs
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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