Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
