she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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