WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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