Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
