Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
