tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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