Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
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I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
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When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
She needs sedatives and a leash
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
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