Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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