yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
So vagazzling was a success
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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