I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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