New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
