There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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