There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I wish I only lived at night.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
