She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize