I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.