I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I have aggressive nipples.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Sorry about my life...
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
