How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts