Texts From Last Night

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  (440): View more from Ohio

  i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime

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  (440): i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime http://tfl.nu/8e5t
  Replies (23) Good night (762) Bad night (5912)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.

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  (630): Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself. http://tfl.nu/vif9
  Replies (55) Good night (11038) Bad night (1466)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.

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  (732): i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that. http://tfl.nu/vsly
  Replies (26) Good night (1176) Bad night (7930)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.

  (847): View more from Illinois

  ill be there in 5.

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  (812): through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife. (847): ill be there in 5. http://tfl.nu/y9p2
  Replies (26) Good night (8718) Bad night (974)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma

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  (402): Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma http://tfl.nu/lc92
  Replies (24) Good night (9279) Bad night (1501)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.

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  (337): so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now. http://tfl.nu/ckx3
  Replies (14) Good night (812) Bad night (2238)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up

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  (410): I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up http://tfl.nu/ucpy
  Replies (7) Good night (2104) Bad night (1082)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.

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  (770): She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college. http://tfl.nu/xmfo
  Replies (4) Good night (1732) Bad night (413)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?

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  (319): Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world? http://tfl.nu/2f1z
  Replies (7) Good night (2050) Bad night (464)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012

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  (217): You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012 http://tfl.nu/onux
  Replies (4) Good night (1079) Bad night (550)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.

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  (812): My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete. http://tfl.nu/hbes
  Replies (1) Good night (940) Bad night (305)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception

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  (912): her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception http://tfl.nu/tr33
  Replies (5) Good night (574) Bad night (709)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?

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  (856): I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life? http://tfl.nu/hhin
  Replies (4) Good night (334) Bad night (613)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.

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  (317): You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves. http://tfl.nu/nrql
  Replies (2) Good night (851) Bad night (282)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways

  (425): View more from Washington

  so just a regular conversation then

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  (412): It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways (425): so just a regular conversation then http://tfl.nu/ie13
  Replies (0) Good night (452) Bad night (224)

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