My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
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