i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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