They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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