My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
