I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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