I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
