next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Randomize
