all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
