just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
