And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
