I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
