I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
