Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
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he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
My bed smells like the plague
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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