if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
