It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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