you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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