you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
