No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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